Young Men and Society: Social Isolation, Gaming, and Porn
Because of the new difficulties facing young men in this uncertain world, many are choosing to isolate themselves in a place where there is no fear of rejection and they are praised for their abilities. Video games and online porn are “arousal addictions”—seeking out novelty in order to achieve or maintain a high level of arousal. Hard-core pornography is one-click away, video games are designed to be addictive, and boys and young men themselves are increasingly asking for help because they don’t know how to regulate their own use of these and related technologies.
Social Isolation and the Digital Retreat
Over the past few generations, the percentage of the population rating themselves as currently shy has been steadily rising to over 60 percent. The deep fear of social rejection has risen, in part, as a result of technology, which minimizes direct, face-to-face social interaction. Aside from the steady increase in shyness, what is different today is that shyness among young men is less about a fear of rejection and more about fundamental social awkwardness–not knowing what to do, when, where or how.
They don’t know the language of face contact, the nonverbal and verbal set of rules that enable a person to comfortably talk with and listen to somebody else and get them to respond back in kind. The absence of such critical social skills, essential to navigating intimate social situations, encourages a strategy of retreat, going fail-safe. Females equal likely failure, while safe equals the retreat into online fantasy worlds that, with regular practice, become ever more familiar, predictable, and, in the case of video games, more controllable. As a result, a twisted sort of shyness has evolved as the digital self becomes less like the real-life operator. In this way, we can say that shyness is both a cause of the problem as well as one of the consequences of excessive gaming and porn use.
Usage Statistics and Social Impact
Jane McGonigal, director of game research and development at the Institute for the Future, estimates that the average young person will spend 10,000 hours gaming by the time they reach age 21. To put this figure in context, it takes the average college student half that time–4,800 hours–to earn a bachelor’s degree. Still, girls don’t play nearly to the extent that guys do–only five hours per week compared to 13 for young men. These problems continue beyond adolescence; a study found that in 349 marriages where just one partner was a gamer, it was the husband 84% of the time.
| Metric | Data Point |
|---|---|
| Average hours spent gaming by age 21 | 10,000 hours |
| Hours required for a bachelor’s degree | 4,800 hours |
| Weekly gaming (Young Men) | 13 hours |
| Weekly gaming (Young Women) | 5 hours |
| Heavy porn users (Boys) | One in three |
| Heavy porn users (Weekly usage) | More than 10 hours |
Educational Initiatives and Porn Literacy
A new Edith Cowan University (ECU) research project will give Australian teenagers a voice in designing porn literacy education that helps them critically interrogate online pornography and any unwanted impacts. Given teens encounter online pornography long before turning 18, there are calls for pornography education, also known as porn literacy. The research team will work with teens to co-design strategies that support their sexual wellbeing and recognise them as experts in their own experiences. This research is about helping young people unpack what they're seeing, ask questions, and develop the tools to make sense of it safely.
Teens feel awkward discussing these topics with the adults in their life, and often detect their judgement or discomfort too. If adults assume teens aren't seeing porn, we leave them vulnerable to misinformation and potentially harmful ideas about sex, consent and relationships. By drawing on teens' insights, the project aims to build young people's skills to critically evaluate online pornography and its associated risks, informing future Relationships and Sexuality Education.