Do Rom Coms and TikToks Trigger Porn Use?
By Dr. Joy Skarka
Try to name three recent movies that did not have a romance story in the plot. Could you do it? I couldn’t. The media feeds us the lie that we need a man to complete us. During seasons of isolation, watching rom coms do not help with our loneliness and actually, can cause us to watch more pornography. When I was a college student, I struggled with pornography and loneliness in singleness. I can imagine those struggles would be harder for present-day college students to walk through because of the isolation in online classes, remote learning, and working from home. It’s exhausting and triggering.
The Reality of Softcore Porn
We have become numb to porn. These sex scenes fall under the category of softcore porn. Softcore porn is less graphic than hardcore porn. It contains partial nudity and is sexually arousing and stimulating. You can find softcore porn on apps like TikTok and Instagram, in TV shows and movies, and in commercials and advertisements. We have become so numb to seeing these images, that we fail to realize that they are porn. What our media considers normal today was actually hardcore porn years ago.
Comparing Media Content
- Softcore Porn: Contains partial nudity; sexually arousing and stimulating; found on TikTok, Instagram, and in commercials.
- Hardcore Porn: More graphic than softcore content; what our media considered abnormal years ago.
- Triggers: Edited graphic photos of women on social media; romance plotlines in almost all movies and TV shows.
The Impact on the Heart and Mind
The messages we see have a daily impact on our sexual struggles. We become desensitized to the images and don’t even think of them as porn. Just like with drugs, we need harder things, in this example images, to experience the same rush. When we watch softcore porn, it makes it more difficult to find contentment in singleness, to trust God with our present circumstances, and to pursue a pure mind and heart. The negative feelings that softcore porn stirs inside our hearts and minds trigger us to turn to harder porn. Softcore porn can pull us back to hardcore porn.
For example, I have frequently struggled with a poor body image. When I see edited graphic photos of women on social media, I immediately am triggered to think that I am not enough. Believing that I was not good enough caused me to turn back to porn, which resulted in sexual shame. It kept me in the cycle of addiction. One innocent scroll through Instagram resulted in spending hours watching porn.
3 Ways to Live Free from Softcore Porn
If you want to live free from porn, filling your mind with softcore porn is setting yourself up for failure. We must take inventory of the things we watch and scroll through, and instead fill our minds with Godly things.
- Give up TV shows, Netflix, and Youtube for just one month. See how your mind changes. The relationships displayed in media are not real and are rarely a good representation of Godly relationships or Christ’s love. When I took a month away from watching most TV shows and movies, I began trusting God more.
- Unfollow people on social media and limit your usage. TikTok and Instagram are filled with images that cause us to become desensitized. We often only think about how hardcore Internet porn negatively impacts our hearts and minds, but we need to take the time to think about how softcore porn also impacts us.
- Step away from the poison and turn to the one who can fill your longing. Instead of watching the sex scenes in movies, read through the Psalms. Instead of scrolling through wedding pins on Pinterest, find the community you are looking for in a college ministry.
No man, not even the man you marry, will complete you. Only Jesus can complete us. We need to fight against the lie the world whispers, that we “need a man to complete us.” If you are single and struggling finding contentment, consider what you spend your time watching. Turn to the one who can fill your longing to be fully known and fully loved, Jesus.